tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post6288744629111078572..comments2023-03-25T02:10:53.353-07:00Comments on Ampletude: gloriously unapologetic fatness: Keep your assumptions off my bodyAmandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242305669026640917noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-26378814761942221702010-10-22T21:26:15.285-07:002010-10-22T21:26:15.285-07:00Amanda,
I'm so impressed with your courage an...Amanda,<br /><br />I'm so impressed with your courage and your strength. It is so tough when feeling vulnerable to be bullied into accepting whatever a doctor says to do. Good for you for standing your ground.<br /><br />I recently had a similar episode. I had been seeing a doctor who admitted that my metabolic health was good and that my numbers (other than BMI) were pretty much all in the ideal range. I was symptom free and definitely exercised more than he did. So naturally he suggested I consider WLS as obviously the healthy eating and exercising weren't "working" (eyeroll). So I asked him why, given the fact he admitted I was healthy, I should risk surgery on perfectly healthy body parts? He tried to play down the risk factors--but I insisted. Why on earth would I do this, and how in good conscience could he suggest it. <br /><br />A month later, I was visiting my Mom and Dad and relaying the story. All of a sudden my Mom got really quiet. "Please don't have that surgery," she said. Apparently a very dear friend of my mom, who was the same age as me had gone into the band surgery perfectly healthy, got a staph infection and after a year of terrible suffering, she died. She left 3 small children behind with no mother. It was a chilling moment.<br /><br />I agree that people have the right to make up their own minds about their bodies. But I also agree with the posters who are eager for the full facts about WLS and the side effects to be revealed.<br /><br />As to the anonymous poster looking for size-neutral or size-positive exercise, there ARE options out there. Many of the local YWCAs are "safe". And with deep apologies for the plug, you may want to look at my site at www.thefatchick.com which has a lot of info for fat people wanting to exercise.<br /><br />Okay, now my comment is as long as the blog post, but just to reiterate, Amanda, you rock! Thanks for listening!<br /><br />JeanetteUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09024689143896737714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-70469963069928614972010-10-21T16:36:51.558-07:002010-10-21T16:36:51.558-07:00"But before I could elaborate, she said that ..."But before I could elaborate, she said that that was just it, we can't change behaviors, and that for someone in my "category" the only viable option is bariatric surgery."<br /><br />Wow! So I have two things to say about what this doctor said: 1) she must be awfully cynical, and 2) she fits perfectly into her "doctor" paradigm within medical culture.<br /><br />It sucks, but mainstream medical culture views patients as outsiders upon whom one performs procedures. There is very little about wholeness and wellness that actually fits into that paradigm. You see on the fringes that there are a few daring change agents, but mostly these attitudes are so incredibly ingrained. <br /><br />Because patients are people (and not more "compliant" objects), they vary greatly in their behavior and in how they respond to others....not to mention treatments. But treating people like individuals means having faith in them and trusting them and letting them be fallible. This attitude is strongly beaten out of many, many doctors by the sheer overwhelm of the system.<br /><br />I could go on (perhaps I'll write a book), but I am glad that you did what you needed to do to keep yourself sane and advocate for yourself. You deserve to receive care from someone who can see you as more than a categoy.HistoryGeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02670515936852776370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-89280909922642407962010-10-21T15:09:42.922-07:002010-10-21T15:09:42.922-07:00"I simply must stick to my own gut feeling......"I simply must stick to my own gut feeling...." How can you do that if they cut out your guts? My g.i. dr. says that the brain in our guts is as important as the brain in our skulls. I think about (Marilyn Wann's term) stomach amputation as lobotomy.<br /><br />Congratulations on your self-preserving behavior. And I'm glad you stopped when you did. Had you continued you would have been educating her. Then she would have had to pay for the appointment and we all know she wouldn't have been willing to do that.<br /><br />And talking about gold stars -- you have a whole boxful coming to you!Susan Koppelmanhttp://www.susankoppelman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-23268777867275701502010-10-21T15:09:04.727-07:002010-10-21T15:09:04.727-07:00HAES - Health At Every Size - just because someone...HAES - Health At Every Size - just because someone is fat doesnt mean they are unhealthy<br />FA - Fat Acceptance<br />CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - available for lots of things, in my case to help me adjust to chronic pain and physical disability after an accident.<br />STFU - Shut the (Fword) up I thinkUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02469294125558088238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-86507542167399807672010-10-21T14:59:12.044-07:002010-10-21T14:59:12.044-07:00Okay, for those of us who don't know, I figure...Okay, for those of us who don't know, I figured out that WLS is weight loss surgery, used mostly here for bariatric surgery but also includes the lap band, but what are HAES, FA, STFU, and CBT?<br /><br />What I would like is for there to be as many places to get moving without being compared to the thin people, where the "trainers" know how to stop pain from happening (no it's not caused by the weight, but sometimes the weight exacerbates it), and trainers who don't use shame or yelling at you as a motivator, as there are gyms (spas, fitness centers, etc.) where you need to be thin before you go there in the first place. <br /><br />I was in my work's fitness center walking on a treadmill when someone came up and told me to push more and ramp it up. I told her if I did, she'd be calling an ambulance. I never went back. If she had just said, "nice to see you are here" or "keep going" or even just smiled at me, I would have gone back.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-40749320747171197162010-10-21T14:09:53.550-07:002010-10-21T14:09:53.550-07:00Well done you for putting the doc in her place. I...Well done you for putting the doc in her place. I was involved in an accident a few years back, and was seeing various consultants for a while, and the first question each time one consultant referred me to another was about the attitude of the new consultant to size. And then if I agreed to the referral, I always did the size acceptance speech at the beginning of the first appointment.<br /><br />Eventually I was a referred to a pain management clinic, to learn to live with the chronic pain. This involved joint appts with a physiotherapist and a CBT therapist, aimed at helping me move in a way which didnt make the pain worse, and not being afraid to do things in case it made the pain worse. <br /><br />Five minutes into the first appt, the CBT asks if I know anything about or have considered WLS. I am in high dudgeon and give them both my lecture on why I am not willing to consider it. ANd when I finish they both smile and say "good". Apparently they see so many people who have tried it as a way of dealing with pain and have just made all their problems a million times worse, and added some extra ones.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02469294125558088238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-5176397203048435352010-10-21T13:06:52.037-07:002010-10-21T13:06:52.037-07:00I'm very much with you about WLS. It's not...I'm very much with you about WLS. It's not for me. If someone else chooses it, it is not my place to tell them they've done something horrible. If someone close to me is considering having WLS, I will - if given a good opening - offer up resources for them to learn about the potential downsides of WLS... but from that moment on, I will shut my damn mouth and hope that if they go through with the surgery that they are among the lucky ones who get the most effect with the lowest rate of complications possible. And I will only offer up the resources if they express an interest in them. <br /><br />If it isn't my body and someone doesn't want my advice about it, I'm not going to force my beliefs on them.<br /><br />As for that doctor, it sounds like she had no intention of learning anything about you as an individual, and you certainly don't need that in a health care professional. I'm glad you walked out on her. You deserve someone who is going to listen to what you're saying and do a little research on your individual situation before making a drastic diagnosis/prescription.Twistiehttp://manolobig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-40850142872816547932010-10-21T11:58:14.205-07:002010-10-21T11:58:14.205-07:00I think the doc probably didn't understand wha...I think the doc probably didn't understand what you meant when you mentioned weight issues. It sounds like she assumed you were like most other fat patients: looking for some way to magically become thin. And yeah, the only 'viable' way to do that if you're very heavy is something as drastic as bariatric surgery. And of course you MUST desperately want to be thin at any cost and willing to take severe medical risks; after all, you're fat and have a pulse.<br />She's probably never heard of anything like HAES or FA, and doesn't have any concept of fat people who are actually okay with their bodies and just want to stop being harassed about it and pushed into all sorts of medical weight interventions.<br />The way I think about it is people like her seem to live in a sort of parallel universe where thin = healthy is an unquestionable fact of life that everyone 'knows'. You're not really speaking the same language as they are, and they don't realize it because they have no clue that any other language even exists.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-87015299183054040342010-10-21T09:54:19.829-07:002010-10-21T09:54:19.829-07:00I am glad to hear that you stopped the conversatio...I am glad to hear that you stopped the conversation with your potential dr before the shaming began. I had a doc do something similar and I let him have it with data and he STFU! :)Jennahttp://www.axisoffat.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-34768292852587689292010-10-20T23:07:02.871-07:002010-10-20T23:07:02.871-07:00PS - Gold stars for Regina, Anonymous 1, and 2.
...PS - Gold stars for Regina, Anonymous 1, and 2. <br /><br />Thanks for hanging out here with me.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05242305669026640917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-43400388891995762222010-10-20T22:55:28.814-07:002010-10-20T22:55:28.814-07:00"...But of course not; you know exactly how I..."...But of course not; you know exactly how I eat (poorly) and whether I exercise (obviously not even a little) from looking at me, right?" <br /><br />To Anonymous 1 and 2 - <br /><br />I wasn't clear when I wrote that sentence. The parentheticals were meant to be what she was thinking/assuming, not what is actually true. <br /><br />I don't eat perfectly, but I've been working on intuitive eating for a long time. I'm also working with a naturopath who, among other things, is willing to give weight-neutral nutrition advice (though even that is sometimes triggering for me, so it's something I'm feeling out a little at a time). I don't move "enough" but I've been working on that, too, slowly but surely and around the chronic pain. <br /><br />But she (and SO many others, medical professionals or otherwise!) assumes I do NOTHING right, just b/c I'm fat.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05242305669026640917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-29222749166519730662010-10-20T19:05:42.814-07:002010-10-20T19:05:42.814-07:00To the previous anonymous poster, I don't thin...To the previous anonymous poster, I don't think Amanda said she ate poorly or never exercised per se, but rather that's what the doctor assumed by looking at her, at least that's how I read it.<br /><br />Amanda, I agree with you about 90%, it is your body and you and only you should get to decide what to do with it, my only holdback is that I don't believe WLS patients are getting a complete view of the long term affects of WLS, I wish there was a way to guarantee that patients got ALL the information before agreeing to the procedure.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-62113197683063097712010-10-20T18:05:58.586-07:002010-10-20T18:05:58.586-07:00Only thing I'm going to say (I don't think...Only thing I'm going to say (I don't think it's negative) is that you talk about HAES but that you still eat poorly. First part of HAES is "health." Not losing weight, or trying to, but eating well -- not poorly -- or even perfectly. Just trying to put good stuff in your body, again, NOT with an emphasis on losing weight. Cuz otherwise you're not doing HAES, right? Just try to treat yourself well with the food you eat, make sure it *nourishes* you, body and soul. Exercise? It's good if you can do it, but one step at a time. First try loving yourself with the food you eat, and that it keeps you feeling good, and doing the things you want to do. You don't have to be perfect, but you should try to eat well, for YOU. Even if you fail, at first just try. Over the weekend I ate Halloween candy and pizza. It's what I needed I guess (tho I felt pretty crappy after) -- it certainly wasn't perfect, but then you try again. I ate a good meal later, not worried about calories, but about simple stuff without tons of fake junk in it and too many ingredients. And I felt better. Screw weight loss surgery. Just feed yourself well and lovingly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1849989066992833155.post-8665825865051301172010-10-20T17:03:23.072-07:002010-10-20T17:03:23.072-07:00Well said Amanda! I have never made the connectio...Well said Amanda! I have never made the connection to abortion and WLS before, but it fits to an extent. Neither one are requirements, but you will find protestors shouting loudly for or against from the sidelines. Both of those procedures are such a personal and private decision to make, that one should weigh all the consequences and possible outcomes. In regards to WLS, I've said it before and I'll say it again (as a super fatty) Gastric Bypass may not effect you now, but it probably will later. You may be the successful one who undergoes this procedure and manages to lose weight without any debilitating side effects now, but as you near the end of your life....when you want to be able to absorb vital nutrients that will sustain your life, it will probably be harder to do. Can the world just stop policing my body please?Regina Tnoreply@blogger.com