Puttin' on the Ritz

I grew up steeped in ideas about good foods and bad foods. Eating good foods (or even better, no food at all) made one a good girl, virtuous, and - eventually, presumably - skinny. Eating bad foods made one a bad girl, gluttonous, and fat with all the most negative connotations of fatness that society allows.

I've worked hard to unpack and (to some extent) unlearn these attitudes. I had a moment today when it really reared up. I realized I feel guilty/bad when I eat Ritz crackers. I remember being told they were full of fat and they were not something we ever had in the house growing up.

I wonder... are they really nutritionally that bad? I almost looked at the Nutrition Facts panel when the thought reared its head. But what would that prove? They are not made of air and cardboard, and they are a processed food, so a glance at the facts and figures is not likely to prove they've got the same nutritional content (or lack thereof) as a handful of celery sticks and shut up the guilt that way. Nope, that's staying within the problematic paradigm. It's not about whether they're "bad" or "good" at all. I've gotta use my intuitive eating and HAES skills and shut that sh*t down.

So...
Fact: In an ideal world, I would've brought a lunch, but I didn't.
Fact: The options to go out and purchase near work, and the time it would take to do so, did not work for me today.
Fact: I need to feed my body. Unplanned fasting is not an acceptable option for me.
Fact: I had Ritz crackers in my desk drawer because they're something I'll eat even when I feel crappy and/or don't feel like eating.

Therefore: Ritz crackers were the right choice given the parameters in place today.  

Take that, tape loop in my head!

Cruising while Fat: A Response from John Heald

Welp, I'm awake at 3:15am with intense pain throughout my face and jaw. Never had a head cold *quite* like this (and yes, I went to the doctor yesterday and will continue self-care and medical self-advocacy if it doesn't get worse!)... what better way to distract myself than Bones on TV and a blog post?

You may recall that back on January 9, I posted a letter I wrote to the brand spokesman for Carnival Cruises, asking about accessibility as a fat, mobility-impaired woman on their cruise ships. I never saw my question answered on his blog, so I re-submitted my question on Feb 21. Patience is a virtue, because he responded to me yesterday. Only it was kind of a non-answer answer... but here it is, for what it's worth:

Hello Amanda,
I am very glad that you have written to me and please do not worry because we will make sure you and those traveling with you have a brilliant time. Please, when you read this, can you contact Carnival’s guest access services desk and let them know your cabin number? This will be then documented and sent to the ship. I also ask that one week before you sail if you can please contact me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/johnheald and I will alert the ship and make sure you are well looked after. We have a special needs team on board who will look after you during the safety briefing and in a real emergency and, of course, you will be allowed to stay on your scooter. I am here if you have any questions and I wish you all the best of times.
Best wishes.
John

So.... on the one hand, no answers to most of my specific questions. On the other hand, he told me who to contact now, AND told me that if I contact him personally 1 week before we sail he'll make sure to alert the ship and make sure we're taken care of. So....meh. I'd kinda rather have answers to my specific questions to set my mind at ease and/or give me a course of action now, than a blanket "don't worry, we'll take care of you." But "we'll take care of you" is better than nothing.