Friday, February 8, 2013

Seeing my impact

When I first started on my fat acceptance journey, many people close to me didn't get it. As we all know, fat hate and pro-weight-loss are so normalized in our society that it can take a long, LONG time to unlearn it and re-calibrate ourselves to acceptance of body diversity and weight neutrality and health as a thing totally separate from weight.

Despite knowing all this, it particularly stung when my mom didn't instantly get it. The reasons why are her story to tell, though from the pieces she's shared with me I know that among other things, she got her share of crap for being "fat" growing up, and so it broke her heart to see her daughter suffering because of her weight. (Well, because of society and medicine's views on my weight, but... we're speaking about her perspective, back then.)

Over the years, she's listened as I ranted, soapboxed, and monologued. She's read my blog, supported me emotionally and otherwise, and asked questions. Over the years, I've seen her really change from the classic "but what about your HEALTH?" worries to more and more true acceptance. Still, I didn't know if it was a change in her actual feelings about weight and health, or if she still thought those worries, but was honoring my expressed boundaries not to talk about it.

So I was absolutely floored, honored, amazed, and more to receive this message from her today on the FB:
"Grrr. This is the message I sent to my new "friend" just before I unfriended her!
'I accepted your friendship because I thought you were interested in art and jewelry. I have close friends who have eating disorders that are set off by diet talk. I am not interested in that and therefore will need to unfriend you. Best regards, [my amazing mom]'"
Holy crapasaurus. I... there are no words. Thanks, mom. I love you.

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