Well, it's the end of a massively important era in my Fat Acceptance life. Last night was my last night in the body positive/fat acceptance/HAES support group I've attended every Wednesday evening for - gosh, like 5 years or something.
It's given me a lot. Moral support, companionship, some good friends, lots and lots of "really? I'm not the only one who feels like this?" moments, some wonderful, positive/supportive voices in my head to call on when the old demon-voices from culture/childhood/etc. try to pop in and rule me, and so much more. It was a hard decision to leave. But I know it was the right one. I'm looking forward to choosing what I want to do on Wednesday nights, and to "leaving the nest" so to speak. The most surprising feeling I had on leaving was realizing that in a way, leaving was an affirmation. As in, "I'm feeling OK enough in my life that I can comfortably walk away from this major source of support I've really needed for so long." After 5 years of training wheels, I'm ready to try the two-wheeler all on my own!
Of course, I'm not really on my own. The Fatstudies List, the Notes from the Fatosphere feed, the great friends and mentors I have made in the FA community, the NAAFA convention coming up in August - all of these connections and support systems are still in my life, and I'm feeling very aware of how grateful I am to have found them.
Here's to graduating to a two-wheeler!
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